His life...the dance.

Read this lyric and see if it speaks to you.  It is written by Garth Brooks.

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance


I can't listen to that song without thinking of his life and his death.  The line "I'd have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance" says it all.

Ken was a funny brother.  He had deep dimples and green eyes and he was a genius underachiever.  He had a photographic memory, which I think made him hang on to past hurts more than others might have.  He was facinating and infuriating and boyish and wise and clueless.  He was the guy who knew what it felt like to hear our dad's heavy feet coming out way and knowing we were in deep trouble.  He knew the difficulty of living in the childhood home we shared with troubled parents and he knew he could talk to me about anything...but in the end he didn't.

I would rather have had the pain than miss the dance of life with him.